Do You Know Yourself Better Than Anyone?

“Here’s to the one that we got, cheers to the wish you were here but you’re not. Toast to the ones here today, toast to the lost ones that we lost on the way” Thanks for Maroon 5 who made this song and convinced me to start write for Medium. This song reminds me that we have to live for now in the present and don’t stick with our past, neither to forget about it.

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Do you live in present, past, or future?

How to live in the present? This question seems simple, but for some people it could be hard. Some people still haunted by their past, whether by their insecurities or bad memories. It can’t be denied almost everyone has something they scared or worried about until now. Some people who just graduated wondering when they will get their perfect job and make a million dollars. But is it possible to make million dollars for someone who doesn’t have any work experience?

Most overthinking is what stop people make the difference. A lot people are afraid to step out from their comfort zone. “What if I make mistake and lose lots money because start this business?” “What if my partner gonna leave me if I start to chase my dream rather to keep the relationship?” One key to make a difference is our life is our willingness to risk anything. What if we failed? Is this the end of the world?

There’s a moment when we look further in our life and feel down

When our mind start wandering, it’s means we not living in our present. Wandering mind is what make us overthinking about the future and somehow could be scared with people’s judgement. Don’t worry, I also took long time to learn how to live in present. I worried alot about people judgement, especially because no one of my friend who being a writer; beside I graduated with psychology major. Fear I can’t make my parents proud was make me think if I’m a failure; worse my ex didn’t appreciated my work as writer. Sounds like my world gonna collapse right?

Don’t worry because that’s not the end of the story. Broke up with my ex who I dated for years also break me, made me questioning what’s the point of my life because I feel like I can’t do anything right. I escaped my problems with joined online group chats and made alot friends there, until I met my boyfriend and he told me to start read some self-developments book so I can view life in different way.

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Don’t worry because there’s always sunshine after rain

This universe has unique way to make difference in our life. Old me always prefer to spent time on my phone than reading until I start read lot self-development books. I never thought I will know Ryan Holiday, thrilling about Stoicism every single day. It’s beyond my expectation if I will be able to share my experience on Medium, in fact I just knew this platform in the beginning of September. It’s also suprised me how I’m more chill to handle any stuffs, beside I’ve always known as sentimental person who took anything personally. I don’t use my phone as much as before and enjoy my time to be alone, without being lonely even though I didn’t talk to anyone for hours. I spend my day listening to music, working or looking for some projects, or even Googling some stuffs that I never heard before. Do you see the difference here?

For now, I feel like “Oh this is what people saying to live your life”. How can I feel this way beside I’m type of person who need attention everytime? I found out if what really matter is myself. Others can make me happy but I should be fine even they’re not around. I realized I wasn’t in healthy relationships because I relied my happiness on my partner. My day always ruined when my partner didn’t talk at me whole day. I was scared my career as writer never make my parents proud because I’m not working in any office like other people out there. I do realized if work remotely give me lot advantages, I always have time for myself and take care of my parents as they’re getting old.

The key of your life is “yourself”

After all, you’re the one who can make yourself alive. As social creature, of course we need our family, partner, or friends but doesn’t mean we can rely our happiness on them. You’re the truly one who can make yourself happy. Even though we can’t control stuffs that can happens everytime, but we able to control how we gonna react for it.

How to stop overthinking? Is it even possible to do this? The answer is “yes”. I’m also overthiking person who can be crying over myself for minutes for wandering what my future will bring. Remember, overthinking is just useless stuff which can ruin your day anytime. You have to control that and start think everythings you do now is gonna be worth — even better if you could close your eyes and take some deep breath. You’re the one who decide when’s to step out from comfort zone and enjoy new stuffs like I do. Ask this to yourself once again “Are you brave enough to make difference of your life?”

Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

An ailurophile who loves to bake and write. Amor fati ☀️