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An ailurophile who loves to bake and write. Amor fati ☀️

Self Improvement

The best ten life lessons from this shitty year.

Illustration by author

2020 is a mess.

Million people lost their jobs. Thousand people lost their beloved ones. Travel ban everywhere.


And learn from them.

Photo by Liza Summer @ Pexels

Last night, I was on a call with Josh, my best friend, and vented to him about some situations that have worsened my insecurities.

“Am I not good enough for them?” I asked.

“You are good enough, but sometimes, you have to deal with shitty people.” He answered.

“And I would rather deal with shitty situations and find the good ones, instead of avoiding them and never finding the good person.”

We never know someone’s intention unless we befriend them, or at least, talk with them on some occasions.

We never know how our relationship is going to work or…


For me, it’s for my insecurity.

Photo by Way Home Studio @ Freepik

“Why do you write when you don’t have a journalism background?” I smiled at my friend when that question popped up during our lunch. “I want to share my knowledge with others, because I gain knowledge from other writers too.”

That was my naive answer in my early career. I wanted to sound cool, so my friends stopped questioning why I don’t pursue a career in psychology development.

But now when someone asks why I’m writing, my answer is:

“I write because writing is my healing progress.”

I bet you often hear “Aim your writings for one person so that…


And no one can do that either.

Photo by Jasmin Chew @ Pexels

When was the last time someone said they are proud of you? Or that you make them happy?

I used to be obsessed with pleasing everyone. I did everything that I could to make someone elsehappy, and forgot to prioritize my own happiness.

A few years ago, I was about to date someone that I met on Facebook. But one of my best friends in high school said he’s not good looking and it’s dangerous to meet someone online (dating apps weren’t popular at that time). I trusted her and cancelled my date — although I knew he was a…


A reflection about your social media life.

Photo by Screen Post @ Pexels

How often do you share your life on social media?

How often do you know the latest thing about your friends from social media?

How many likes do you get after post your new outfits on social media?

How many followers do you get after post a story about your latest journey?

How much hate do you get from strangers?

How much spam do you get each week?

How many creeps come to your profile after you posted a sexy picture?

How often do you check your social media each day?

Social media is one of the biggest enemies in…


Forgive and improve yourself.

Photo by Cottonbro @ Pexels

“But we’re not together anymore" That was the last word my latest boyfriend said before we actually broke up. I was looking for a ticket to Turkey so we could meet during this pandemic. Yet, he didn’t want to continue our relationship. He didn’t want to wait any longer. He gave up.

Anger. Disappointment. Frustration. Betrayed. Those are common feelings that you feel through break up. How could they give up so easily when they said forever? How could they leave when they promised they would solve the problem together? …


How many hours do you have for yourself?

Photo by George Milton @ Pexels

Have you ever experienced burnout because of overworking? Or have you ever felt lost passion because you don’t have time for yourself?

Burnout is my old friend. I experienced it a couple of times because of messy time management. I worked on the weekend, and I stared at my laptop for more than eight hours every day.

Indeed you have more freedom when you are working as a freelancer. But when you have a lot of workloads every day, even your client asks you to work at the weekend — then be ready for burnout.

Fortunately, some things changed when…


Getting happy is much simpler than you ever think.

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich @ Pexels

“Are you happy?”

My friend asked me that after we talked a little while. I paused for a bit before I answered him “Yes, I’m happy”.

“Are you happy?” Is one of the simplest questions that you can hear from anyone and anytime. Although it’s simple, some people, myself included, also think a lot before answer it.

But, what is happiness, really? I have written about some happiness stories before, but sometimes I’m still questioning who makes me happy today.

Does happiness mean you do something out of your comfort zone?

Does happiness mean you meet your friends again after…


A reflection about loneliness.

Photo by Kehn Hermano @ Pexels

Are we lonely,

so do we share our life on social media?

Are we lonely,

so we scroll our social media every hour?

Are we lonely,

so do we bring our phones everywhere we go?

Are we lonely,

so do we check our phones every morning after we wake up?

Are we lonely,

so we open every application on our phone even if it doesn’t have any new notifications?

Are we lonely,

so we talk with strangers on the internet at midnight?

Are we lonely,

so we create an online dating profile?

Are we lonely,

so we begin to bully…


An effective way to deal with distraction.

Photo by Ekaterina Bolovtsova @ Pexels

How many times do you get distracted each day? How does distraction affect you? Do you have time for relaxing after a lot of stuff distracts you? Or do you not sleep at all because of those distractions?

Distraction is my old friend. I have dealt with distractions for many years. It affected me in a bad way and I became irritated easily. I only slept around three hours each day because of many distractions. Distractions drained me mentally.

Distractions come from people and any situation that you can’t control. Yet, distraction also comes from ourselves. …

Hapsari Listya

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